Bonjour, mes amis, and welcome toThe Greatest Show on Earth
If you think Hugh Jackman is the greatest showman, I snort in your general direction. No. There is only me, Le Petit Chef.
Small in stature, but massive in every other way possible, I assure you. Step right up and take a seat at my table … It is time to learn from the masters of the universe, and by masters, I mean only one master. Moi.
People admire greatness. It is only natural. After all, why else are you here if not to learn about becoming The World’s Greatest Chef? Only the World’s Greatest Chef can tell you, and luckily for you, I’m in a generous mood.
I will teach you everything I know. And maybe, just maybe, if you listen closely to what I tell you and pay attention to what you taste, you will learn what it takes.
Cooking lessons already taught …
AND NOW – in my next lessons …
We shall begin with the foundations – the very earth itself.
I will tell you the history of the ingredients mere mortals take for granted. They pluck from the vine without thought, they throw boxes in shopping carts without thought, but not us. We look closer, right into the heart and soul of each ingredient. We demand the origin story of some of the greatest gifts to grace our plates and track their ancient journeys from source to staple.
It may be dangerous – we will delve into the Aztec Empire itself, but do not fear. You are with me, and I am very intimidating when I need to be. Yes, it takes effort when you are two inches tall, but I make it work. You may become even more terrified when you discover an ingredient you eat almost daily once played the role of murderer extraordinaire…I shall then pick up my palette and astonish you with my artistic prowess. Ever heard it said that we eat with our eyes first? Well, it is ludicrous. Our eyes do not have taste buds. Do not be absurd. However, we decide what to eat by using our eyes, so presentation matters, no?
I will play the role of art curator and gastronomic guardian, weaving you through the galleries that have informed my art.
Van Gogh used paint, I use food. We are both artists to be remembered ever more. I will show you the artists who inspired me and how. I will confess that I was caught up in the art and lost my way, found it again, and developed my own unique style.
By this point, mon ami, we are close friends and I shall share with you secrets of my history that I have seldom discussed with others. I will tell you of my family and, using my time-travelling talents, I shall take you back with me so you can see it for yourself.
Warning: I am utterly adorable now, but you may well explode when you see the cuteness of me as a child. It is unbearable, truly. I do not know how I made it to adulthood without being cuddled to death. I will also share the secret ingredient I add to every dish that makes it utterly unforgettable.
Finally, you will discover my alternative professions. Je suis the greatest showman. Not only am I the World’s Greatest Chef but I am, coincidentally, the world’s greatest dancer and the world’s greatest singer. Sometimes it is overwhelming to carry so much talent in such a tiny frame, but do not weep for me.
Through song and flawless choreography, I will tell you my techniques and secret tips that have made me the chef I am today.
Lucky for you, you shall remain seated for the entire duration because, (and I do not mean disrespect), you could not keep up with these moves.
It sounds spectacular, no? Of course it is. I created it.
And while you are transported into the history of food, the mind of artists, my childhood and the spotlight, you will feast on six gourmet courses as you do. I will prepare each and every dish for you, right there on your plate.
All I ask, if you are indeed serious about learning my craft, is that you focus on my process instead of just my product. The product will be delicious – I am the World’s Greatest Chef, after all – but you are here to learn from me, mon ami.
If I determine you are worthy, I will let you graduate. Fancy cap, a certificate, the whole shebang.
But first, your skills will be tested. Your stomachs will be filled and filled and filled again.
You will marvel in wonder. You will gasp at my exploits.
You will be amazed and astounded.
Welcome to my show.
Je suis Le Petit Chef. Bon appetite, mon ami.
Lebohang Mofokeng with a Full South African Team are ready to serve you.
Why Rosebank, Southern Africa?
Because my dear friend Lebohang Mofokeng (Show Manager) invited me.
I will explain the story when I see you, but it involves a BBQ (or is it a “braai”?) gone awry and an ill-fated tourist visit to the Voortrekker Monument …
You must understand…The space in my passport is running out. London, Berlin, Stockholm, Toronto, Nashville, Cairo, Marrakesh, Istanbul. Shanghai, Abu Dhabi, Dubai, LA, Johannesburg (twice), Cape Town, umhlanga (twice) and, finally Pretoria. There are more, but I cannot see the names for the number of stamps that fill the pages. After my debut in the Southern Hemisphere in Sandton, I have decided to keep exploring the magnifique land that you locals call Mzansi by once more embracing the City of Gold. I wish to share the secret of How To Become The World’s Greatest Chef and can think of no better place than beneath Jacaranda jewels int he heart of the city.
You know, mon amis, people of Johannesburg, we have a lot in common. Your city, on the highveld, exposed for all to see, and hosts some of the most magnificent attractions in Gauteng … watching, waiting eyes are always upon you. As Le Petit Chef, I have a lot of experience with a similar kind of … celebrity, and do you know what I say? “Fortune favours the bold!” So come and let us kindred spirits embark on this journey together, and at the end we will both be a little more FAMOUS!
Le Petit Details
A meal is an experience – restaurants would not exist were it not so.
The mark of lovers is to share a dish, to feed one another, no? I therefore urge you to come in pairs, if only to gaze in disbelief at the person beside you as my show unfurls.
Tables of eight or twelve and sixteen are your offerings, with a maximum of 60 guests per show. If you are truly the non-friendly type, (and belong in Paris, no doubt), you will desire assembling eight guests to monopolise a full table. Do as you wish, but be warned… some of my secrets will require collaboration with the guest beside you. The best experiences in life are shared, so turn strangers into friends and share the memories together.
If you wish to know the exact particulars of your meal, I suggest you call your local takeaway and consume something fried while watching reruns of bad sitcoms. That is not what I do. I do indulgence and ambience. I have trained my staff meticulously.
I have sourced everything I place before you from its country of origin, ensuring only the finest makes it to the table. After a night with me, you will have mastered cordon bleu tricks of the trade in a matter of hours, with every bite and sight radiating the authenticity for which I am known. I show you my secrets while delighting your taste buds.
You will have the option of adding a wine pairing to your six course dining experience beginning with a complimentary glass of Boschendal Bubbles, selected by the finest sommeliers the country has to offer, all specially chosen to complement the dishes served.
I can attempt to describe the digital experience in words, but words are words and they are not enough.
There is technology involved – heavily – such as 3-D projection mapping and augmented reality. As I explain and reveal my tricks, you will be privileged to watch me in action. I am quite dashing. Your table will transform as we move through history with projections of patterns conveying the secrets I have mastered.
It is thus an engagement with every single one of your senses, which is why “dinner and a show” is a tragic description, reminiscent of washed-up cabaret singers and microwaved onion soup. Ugh. “Immersive dining experience that combines cutting-edge 3D technology, visual artistry, theatrical storytelling, fresh ingredients, unique flavours, sounds, tastes and, of course, ME” sounds closer to the truth. But again… words do not do it justice.
But yes, if all else fails, do it for your Instagram aesthetic.
This is an experience to be remembered. It is not a ‘quick night out’.
It is an occasion for the adventurers who reject monotony, who dare to be different and who laugh in the face of the mundane. Ha ha! This is for those who are eager for enchantment. The aficionados of the foodie-scene. This is date night on steroids. This is the special occasion you have been waiting for.
This is unlike anything you have seen before or will ever see again. Word spreads. Guests return, two, three, four times. And my time here is short for there are other places I have not yet travelled to and they need my magic too.
By the way – if this is indeed a special occasion, drop me a note at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will ask my team if we can arrange something special for you, like a birthday message or…perhaps…a very important question you’ve been meaning to ask?
The Hotel – 54 on Bath
Why 54 on Bath? You are a funny person, to be asking these silly questions.
Have you visited 54 on Bath? If yes, you understand why I laugh at the question.
If no, well…once you step through its doors, you will see exactly why I selected it.
I’m French and so have a natural appreciation for the finer things in life, and few things are finer than the leafy Northern Suburbs’ best boutique hotel. If I am to prepare the greatest show on earth, with six courses to match its excellence, I need my beauty sleep. The luxury suites at 54 on Bath meet my precise standards (perfection, and no less).
It’s located centrally, which is ideal for my Uber habit (I cook with wine and sometimes I will leave some for the food). I’m a stone’s throw from incredible retail therapy opportunities at the Zone, Sandton and more. And frankly, all the trees in this area remind me of the forests I grew up in, visiting my beloved grandmother. There, we cooked on a fire outside. Here, I cook in the finest restaurant facilities. Started from the bottom, now we’re here, no?
My team of chefs (headed up by moi, of course) are the best of the best, and patrons of 54 on Bath return time and time again for the fine dining on offer. Moi?
I offer fine dining, oui, but I prefer the term ‘fun-dining’.
We will eat, we will laugh, we will drink, we will be merry and I’ll do it all over again.
Tell your friends. Bring a crowd.
Je suis prest.
Meet the Magicians
While my life and background may be an open book to many of you (I like all my fans to feel like they really know me, after all), I have entrusted my recipes and techniques to a mysterious and motley crew who will each make their mark on the table top with one of my famous dishes. I oversee all of the cooking and creating in my kitchen, but what many of you may not know is that I am also a nurturing mentor who likes to use his theatre to showcase the talents of my team and their individual strengths.
Chef Donaldson Madubela
You would think that finding a head chef, a great one (as great as moi) would be difficult … But non!
Enter Executive Chef at 54 on Bath, Chef Donaldson Madubela, from Vanderbijl Park, who is to be my right whisk!
Like yours truly, he has cooked at the best and for the best, leaving a trail of five stars from Le Franschhoek Hotel, Mount Grace Hotel, Irene Country Lodge, Arabella Hotel, all the way to La Residence. Now it is time to put yet another jewel in his chef’s hat, which is why he is joining moi, the world’s smallest chef, to learn ‘How To Become The World’s GREATEST Chef’.
Chef Donaldson tells me that preparation and love are the keys to good food … exactly – what more do you think I can teach him?
Like me, Chef Donaldson is well-travelled and has done his fair share of island hopping and refining of resort cuisine.
The menu at 54 on Bath displays a thoughtful and considered elegance, and although he takes an architectural approach in the creation of his dishes, his foremost priority is to guarantee the simple pleasure of eating something delicious.
I think it is time to see what he can bring to the table … Bon Appetit
I understand. You love your business.
You value your employees and your customers.
Without them, there is no you, oui?
To show your appreciation or perhaps to announce an incentive, please contact email@example.com or and they will set you up with a bespoke interpretation of my show. Additional entertainment can be organised, various aspects customised to suit your brand… Dream it and my team will make it a reality. If you are not so dreamy, tell us regardless and we will handle the rest.
Le Petit Chef Du Maison
I want to take you home. Ah ha, no, you will never fit inside my cottage. No. I want you to keep enjoying my show, no matter how far away you are by coming to my other homes – I am a celebrity, you see, with many abodes.
You have been to my show and I took your breath away. You say to your friends, “Ah, if only you could see him but the show is sold out!” Do not weep, mon ami. I am anything but sedentary. I have enjoyed Southern Africa so much that my shows have expanded! Perhaps you have visited my Le Petit Chef Au Naturel show. If you’re interested in a more relaxing evening of traditional fare for you to mangez bien! Or if you were so impressed by my Marco Polo experience, you can see me once more in my NEW show “How To Be The World’s Greatest Chef”! I am certain to entertain and excite you and your friends no matter which show you choose and what beautiful location you visit. Let’s make it a night to remember.
It is no easy task to traverse the oceans and continents, even when the pursuit is as noble as assisting a friend hailing from afrique du sud. As such, I extend my thanks to Paul Rouessart and 100% EVENT, who not only is clever at rhyming but is also an events management company the likes of which I have never encountered. Merci beaucoup to Southern Sun 54 On Bath, I am excited for our culinary journey together I wish to thank my creators, Filip Sterckx, Antoon Verbeeck and the Skullmapping Team. The show producer – Paul Rouessart. This now begins to feel like le Academy Awards which never recognise French brilliance in cinema. Where was I? Oui. Thank you to Dudley Evershed from AV Staging Works for the technical instillation, Lynne Groenewald from RubyRed Creative for the design, Ivor Moolman from implifi for the website, ooh-la-la and thank you to Tayla Blaire & Eyren Wolfe-Coote, who have painstakingly translated and edited what I have to say in order to make it palatable (ah ha).